Bruins cancel 'State of the Bruins'; insert your shocked face

"I'm really surprised that the Boston Bruins canceled their 'State of the Bruins' event during a lockout." --Said No One Ever.
We all knew this was gonna happen but it's now official -- the 'State of the Bruins' event is canceled. How did they let fans know? Well, buried in an email to season ticket holders.

"Ya, hi, my name is Petah and I was wondahing why is Luchik so good? also is Tim Tahmahs gonnah play next season?"
"Is Tylah Saygin really dating that Olympics chick?"
"Does Charah wear boxers or briefs?"
Also, gotta love the balls of the Bruins for calling one of their Lockout "deals" a "loyalty" program. "Thanks for being loyal. Prove it by picking this shitty offer and thanks for your money."




