It smells like grease, tire fires and shame so that must mean the Montreal Canadiens are in town! Those slimy, diving, crybaby mother fuckers in the bleu, blanc and rouge are coming off of a loss to Pittsburgh and Price was in net, so its possible that Peter Budaj is between the pipes tonight. Either way, I expect the Bruins to make whatever goalie is in net look like the love child of Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy. The Bruins favorite shot on net is the one in the goalie's crest.
Remember for the past few years when people actually believed that the Canucks were more of a rivalry than the Canadiens? Whoever these dolts were, I hope they put their Red Sox hats back on because aint nobody got time for that stupidity. Look at these standings:
They're tighter than a prospective altar boy's butthole. You couldn't fit a stinky pink between the Bruins and Habs right now. It's close - and it's awesome. All I need now is some jealous fucking Canuck fan to make some stupid video and set it to The Daily Show. Because that's real clever, especially when it's already been done a shit ton of times. I have another idea - how about that prick from Vancouver stops being so jealous his team lost a Stanley Cup in 2011 and get on with his life.
Seriously - if you're going to sit in your house for hours searching Youtube for Brad Marchand videos and splicing them to some Daily Show video, it may be time to go outside. Go breathe in some wonderful Vancouver smog. Drink some Starbucks. Burn down a daycare. Grab a cork from whatever wine bottle you have and shove it up to your ass to stop the release of the butt juice you're leaking.
And I'm not even going to do into the Canadiens embellishing calls because it's been beaten to death like Pacioretty dating a stanchion.
Too soon or....
Ah fuck it like I care. What are the Habs fan going to do? Come in here and call me classless? OOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT IM SO SCARED! Look at me shaking in my boots.
Anyway, Boston will have to watch out for the Canadiens flopping around tonight. It's what they do best. I could go on youtube like the piece of shit from Vancouver and post all the amazing dives - Subban in the playoffs where he looks like he was shot in the head - but we're better than that. We are a high class society over here in Boston.
Whatever happens tonight, I hope the Bruins wipe the ice with the Canadiens. Normally I'm not one for goonery, but I'm all a Bruins/Habs throw down where Lucic and/or Horton are just ripping throats from necks and little froggie hearts from bodies. Montreal isn't packing tough guy Brandon Prust since he's on injured reserve so I'm sure they'll pull some dirty shit like Brian Gionta did last night:
Clearly that bag of shit trips the pug/goat manchild known as Tyler Kennedy into his own goalie - who left the game due to injury. Still, the Canadiens couldn't do anything and were shutout. But that's the kind of play you expect from the Canadiens without some muscle to back them up. If that was Milan Lucic who tripped a Hab into Price - Montreal would be shitting their pants.
We're talking fucking poutine everywhere.
Screaming up and down about how dirty the Bruins are and bringing up the Pacioretty shit from 2011 and calling Shanahan and asking for suspensions and cookies and rainbow farts. But it was Gionta, which means only this happens:
Alright, let's finish this bad boy up....
It's Bruins/Habs so of course we will be having our pregame tonight starting at 6:30pm. Justin and Robb are definitely in the lineup. I am currently a game time decision and Jon is on injured reserve. Coming in for a spot start is Tim Rosenthal from Bruins Daily!
There will be a bunch of topics we're covering including the Maple Leafs game, trade rumors, Geoff Ward's earpiece and obviously the Habs game.
Projected Line up
I have to think Claude will revert back to his original lines. Also, I'm going to account for Boychuk still being out of the lineup.
Brad Marchand - Patrice Bergeron - Tyler Seguin
Milan Lucic - David Krejci - Nathan Horton
Jordan Caron - Rich Peverley - Dan Paille
Shawn Thornton - Greg Campbell - Jay Pandolfo
Zdeno Chara - Matt Bartkowski
Dennis Seidenberg - Dougie Hamilton
THE WORST PAIRING EVER OR AARON FUCKING JOHNSON AND ANDREW MINUS FERENCE
Game Day Image/Video
WHERE IS THIS ANDREW FERENCE?! I MISS YOU BUD.