Damn, this has been both the shortest and longest off season on the DOY crew's lifetimes. Oh sure, we found ways to pass the time (mostly by continuing the mock Vancouver and scoffing at the Stanley Cup hangover), but at long last...
The Philly team is going to have a different look to it than the one we embarrassed all those months ago. Richards and Carter are gone, Simmonds and Voracek are in, and the Flyers finally have a goaltender instead of just pulling random bums off the street and giving them pads in exchange for a few nickels and some pennies.
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Twas the night before hockey, when all through the ice
Not a creature was stirring, but Horton’s still nice.
Timmy’s pads were hung in his locker with care,
With the knowledge that Flyers would soon be there.
All the pink hats were nestled snuggly in bed,
While visions of Seguin danced in their heads.
And Moshmont without a shirt, and I in my cap,
Had just bought Amstel Lights, if you can believe that.
When out on the ice there arose such a clatter,
Big Z sprang up to see what was the matter.
Away from the locker room I flew like a flash,
Hockey stick in hand I threw on my sash.
The Garden XD on the surface of the new-painted ice
Gave way to these tickets, a ridiculous price!
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature man, and a huge yellow banner.
With a tight B’s sweatshirt, sporting a grimmace,
I knew in a moment it must be Bill Simmons.
More pink than a crayon the man has no shame,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Andrew! now, Tommy! now, Patrick and Chad!
On, Mikey! On, Nathan! on, on Brad the Lad!
To the top of the Garden! to the top of the wall!
Now raise away! raise away! Raise away all!"
They all walked out of the tunnel with smiles so bright,
They thought of Vancouver and it’s wonderful plight.
They beat down a goalie too big for his britches,
And two ginger twins who played like little bitches.
Everything started against Montreal,
Who dodged and who dove and who mastered the fall.
With PK on his back and Carey a mess,
Horty scored in OT and it felt the best.
And then there was Philly,
Who were riddled with ghosts.
Of winning four straight,
Which hurt Boston the most.
So the Bruins fought hard and broke out their brooms,
And ZIP! POW! BAM! Swept ‘em straight to the moon.
And they went back to Philly all broken and bleak,
Looking like losers sucking down cheese steaks.
The last of the East were the those named the Lightning,
With that guy named Steven, who was oh so frightening.
But he disappeared when it mattered the most,
So Boston won in 7 and the city could boast!
‘Bring on Lord Stanley!’ we cried in cheer,
Happily drinking whiskey and cases of beer!
Bring on Vancouver for they we don’t dread,
Bring on Ryan Kesler and bring us his head!
After 2 games, the Bruins were down
But the city didn’t falter and the team didn’t frown.
Game3 was a blowout that we could admire,
While the losing team’s goalie was worried about his tire!
And after Game 7, the Cup was raised,
The Bruins had won, The Bruins were praised!
So they jumped in their duck boats and drove out of sight,
"Hockey starts tomorrow, so to all a good-night!"
A huge shoutout to Sarah, aka The Real 19, for giving me the idea to write this.
Oh Senators, I almost don't even want to write this article. It's hard to hate on a team where half its players are unknowns, I even feel bad for their AHL team, whose locker room must look kinda like this right now:
Lets not beat around any bushes, last season was an embarrassment for the Senators. When you're struggling to stay ahead of the Islanders and Panthers in the east, something is terribly wrong. After losing streaks aplenty, there was a veritable fire sale where they traded away Mike Fisher (must have gotten tired of him blasting Carrie Underwood's awful music in the locker room), Jarkko Ruutu, Chris Kelly (thanks guys), Chris Campoli, Alex Kovalev, and Brian Elliot (ok they made out in that deal).
It was at that point that everyone knew the team was doomed.
After the jump, some disturbing numbers. Add a comment
Here's the press release from the Bruins:
The crest of the Boston Bruins 2011 Stanley Cup ring features diamond set images of the iconic Boston Bruins
“B” logo and the Stanley Cup, fashioned in brilliant cut custom princess, princess and round diamonds set against
a background of 14 kt. white gold. There are six larger round diamonds on the crest of the ring that represent the
six Stanley Cups that the Bruins have won. The diamond-covered top of the ring is framed on the left side by
“STANLEY CUP” and on the right side by “CHAMPIONS” to record the Bruins’ 2011 achievement.
One shoulder is personalized with a player’s last name and sweater number against an antique black
background. The side includes an image the Bruins secondary “Bruins Bear” logo which is surrounded by six
stones honoring the Bruins as being one of the “Original Six” professional hockey franchises.
The opposite shoulder of each ring features a diamond-studded Stanley Cup framed on top by “2011” in gold and
diamonds which represents this year’s team and the first Stanley Cup that the Bruins have won under the
leadership of the Jacobs family. The years ’72, ‘70, ’41, ’39 and ’29 also frame the cup and connect this year’s
team to the earlier championship teams that helped build the Bruins into one of the most storied franchises.
So yeah, these things are boss.
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Lots of stuff brewing backstage at DOY HQ, including another viewing party that we'll be co-hosting next month. We're still ironing out details of that, so stay tuned.
What we can announce today is that we're officially teaming up with our buddy Rob over at Bottom Line Apparel. Readers might remember Rob has the guy who made the "controversial" Montreal 911 t-shirts as well as all the other playoff tees. We also teamed up with Rob and BLA for the "Triple Crown Timmy" t-shirts over the summer.
What this means for DOY? We get to team up with an awesome t-shirt designer and all around nice guy. We've loved every moment working with Rob and BLA. We're like cousins now... or something. Y'know, cousins that make t-shirts together..... ..... ..... It also means you'll see mini-BLA ads next to the scoreboard since they're sponsoring the recaps. They'll look like this (but replace the pink circles with team logos).
What this means for DOY Readers? DOY readers get 10% off their purchases with BLA. All you have to do is type in the promo code DOY. Simple as that.
Rob's working on a few new Boston Bruins t-shirt designs for the new season but he also just got in a new shipment of Boston Bruins 2011 Champs shirts. Here is what they look like.
They come in Mens, Womens, Adult LS, Kids and Kids LS.
Two days. Can't wait. Go Bruins. Add a comment
“We ended up taking a ferry boat out there. It was secluded and we were able to do what we needed to do as a team,” said Claude Julien. “A lot of the stuff that we did was based around the water, and our guys seemed to enjoy it. We had plenty of water coming from the sky yesterday, but it was also underneath us.
“It was challenging. We feel coming back from there that everybody enjoyed it, and that [our group] also got a lot of things accomplished as far as what we need to do this year to be competitive.”
Click the link above for Haggs's entire story.
Pics of the Bruins trip after the jump... plus, is Tim Thomas really McGyver?
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We're just days away from the Boston Bruins raising their 2010-2011 Stanley Cup Championship banner. I can't believe it. I never thought I'd see this in my lifetime, especially after the junk the Bruins put on the ice from before and after the lockout. With the 2010-2011 season finally finished and the Stanley Cup hangover all but gone in this town, it's time to focus on the 2011-2012 season. With that said, I've been having discussions online and with family and friends about the Bruins and have decided to share those with you. Some of these you may agree with and some of them you may not, but they will definitely spark debate. So here we go, five predictions about the Boston Bruins 2011-2012 season.
After the jump, my five predictions that you'll all probably hate...
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We just finished the DOY Fantasy Hockey League #1. Greg ended his team with this.
Ultimate heel. He's also fired. Add a comment
Introducing WDOY, the Days of Y'Orr podcast. Here's our beta episode, so it's not perfect. Audio cuts in and out for stretches, there's some echo since we were sitting near each other, and Pizz's phone started buzzing part way through messing up the audio in his headset. So we have some issues to hammer out. But beyond that, we don't think this sucks for a first try.
We figure if the Bruins can work out their preseason kinks, so can we.
In Beta Episode:
- Bruins 2-1 loss to the Sens
- Kampfer's injury
- How the Bruins are looking in the preseason
- Rating Chiarelli's offseason moves
- Creepy things we've Googled for DOY photoshops
- Goat Fucking
- Who should get Recchi's "A"?
- KPD Ray Whitney to the Bruins rumors
- Shanaban -- is he being too hard?
- Drew Doughty signing
- Looking forward to the DOY Fantasy Leagues
- More Goat Fucking
You can get the DOY Podcast on iTunes, too, for free.
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