Bruins hit the ice...ice is in the Garden...Sharks are in the Garden...
San Jose Sharks!
The Sharks and the infamous Joe Thornton have arrived! Be prepared to hear some boos. Honestly, we're not sure we get why, sure he was an awful captain and didn't quite live up to expectations while in Boston, but I'm not sure that was possible. Either way, he still doesn't deserve the Kessel treatment!
If your a Sharks/Thornton fan visiting the Garden today...you're gonna need a bigger boat.
Yes, we really are making Jaws references.
After the jump: Want to see a bear surfing on a shark? Of course you do!
The Internet is reporting that Daniel Paille is suspended four games for his blindside hit on some Stars guy.
Whatevs. It was a bad hit by today's standards. Clearly no intent to injure but rules are rules. Sawada has a shoulder sprain -- sounds like a shoulder-to-shoulder hit more than a head shot.
Fact remains that Paille was probably going to sit anyways since the Bs recalled Zach Hamill.
"You can’t be a hypocrite about it, though. I’ve thought about this a lot and had plenty of time to put things in perspective over the last year. Sidney Crosby has been very vocal about the head shots and blind side hits since he suffered one in the Winter Classic, but what did Crosby say after Cook hit Savvy last year. Nothing." --Andrew Ference, earning more of our respect (CSNNE.com)
Kinda feel like the Bruins should've gone one head shot freebie since they may have lost Savard for good because of shithead Cooke. Oh wells...
No 'Grinding Gears' this week... Greg got eaten by a Zombie Yeti. True story.
It's games like tonight in which we have to thank the Hockey Gods for aligning the stars (no pun intended) just right.
Andrew "The Razor" Raycroft vs. Tuukka "Two Us, Two Ks, Two Points" Rask.
For those who need a refresher... the Bruins traded Raycroft to the Maple Leafs for Rask. This is just one of the most recent steals the Bruins have gotten from the Leafs. In fact, Rask went as Raycroft for Halloween last year.
Bruins are hitting a tough four game home stand. We'll see the type of character the team has post-ASG.
Some people are calling the Bruins-Stars a great rivalry. We're assuming they're saying this because of the Great Bruins-Stars Brawl of 2008. One line brawl doesn't equate to a rivalry. The Bruins-Habs is a rivalry. The Penguins-Flyers is a rivalry. Bruins-Stars? Not so much. They see each other like one a year -- it's more like a family Christmas party than a rivalry.
That doesn't mean that tonight's game isn't important. Rask usually gets no D or O help and the Bruins are home (which they've struggled).
Photoshop Expo!! We just realize we have no Andrew "The Razor" Raycroft photoshops beyond the above Raskcroft. Send us your best ideas or images to
. We need to load up.
Of course, we can't forget about Little Bitch Steve Ott. What a tool. We kinda hope he starts shit just so Boychuk or Thornton can lay some smackdown. If only Savard was around to throw some punches. Send us photoshops of Ott, too.
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Brad Marchand is doing an autograph signing at the New England Picture store next week. So, one would think they would spell his name right. Right?
We're not sure who this Chad Marchand fellow is. Perhaps Brado's twin bother? Evil twin?
Sad thing is it's been like that for a quite a while now. You'd think the page designer would have looked at the graphic and saw that it said "Brad" and not "Chad." Or, you'd think the NEPS would have notice the error and changed it by now. It still says Chad.
Now, we're not the type of guys who like to brag but...... oh wait, yes we are. Patrice Purrgeron is now 2 for 2. If you recall, back in December the Bruins were playing some wildly inconsistent hockey. Anyone who says they were happy with the Bruins play is a liar and a tramp. So we sent Patrice Purrgeron on a mission to find the Bruins heart. He did, and since then the Bruins have looked like a different team.
Then over the All-star break Patrice Purrgeron worked with Horton to restore his confidence. Horton Watch 2011 had been going on for 29 days. On the day Purrgeron released his report on Horton's confidence building exercises, Horton scored.
Coincidence? We think not.
But hey, what a way to start of the push towards the end of the season. B's started off sluggish. Thomas held the fort long enough for the Bruins to find their legs and crack Cam Ward. Timmy "Two Points" Thomas was the star. Again. Bergeron come through. Again. What else is there really to say. Bruins are rolling. Hopefully they can keep this up.
After the jump..... Cam Ward is good, Tim Thomas is better and Carolina fans can't live without Jeff Skinner........
Nathan Horton is in a slump. That is quite obvious. Why do you think we started Horton Watch 2011?
After starting the season on a tear he has cooled considerably. Most nights lately we completely forget he's on the team until we either say "Wow Horton just missed way wide" or until Jack Edwards says his name. He's been practically invisible.
So where is that Horton we saw earlier this season? He hesitates on shots. Passes when he should shoot. Misses wide. He looks lost. Did he lose his game? Did he lose his confidence? Is there anyone that can help him find it?
In times like these, there's one man we can turn to. He's got more game than Milton Bradley. He's got so much swagger and confidence he makes Hugh Hefner look like that nerdy kid in your high school science class.
To help Horton find his confidence and game, we turned to one man who is so complicated that no one understands him but his women....
After the jump, Patrice Purrgeron takes Nathan Horton under his wing to try to restore his confidence.......
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Apparently this grand conspiracy was started by Nick Kypreos his crew over at Sportsnet.ca.
This entire video is nuts.
Is weed legal in Canada because that's exactly what these assclowns were smoking. Holy hell.
"Toronto's market can ill afford to take any more hits. Leaf fans already know where they stand on the scale of respectability, and a Leaf being picked last is another shot at a once-storied franchise. Watching Alex Ovechkin taking a cell phone picture as Patrick Kane announced "with the last pick," you start to wonder how many around the league quietly enjoyed Kessel's humiliation" --Nick Kypreos
The fact that the Canadian media needs to go and defend Kessel for being picked last in a meaningless puff-show game just shows you 1) Toronto is off it's fucking railings and 2) How big of a pussy Kessel is that people need to constantly blow him to make him feel good about his situation.
Because he's fucking Phil Kessel. Why can't people just admit that no one likes Phil Kessel? He's a tool. He's lazy and thinks he's 10x better than he actually is.
Here's another reason why Kessel was probably picked last in a game designed for his type of play.
Zero points. Three shots. A +1. This in a game where there was 21 goals. He's making Horton look good.
Leafs fans are lucky Kessel was even picked for the All-Star Game.
But since Leafs fans are so keen on conspiracy theories on why their beloved team sucks and why Phil Kessel was picked last in a dumb draft, here's one:
Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke is a Boston Bruins operative.
That's right. The Leafs front office leader is actually on Jacobs' payroll. In fact, Burke is a robot secret agent being control by Cam fucking Neely at the Boston Garden. Why else would he trade all those juicy draft picks on an under-performing, unlikeable winger?
Here's an idea, Toronto. Get over yourself. You're not that special and neither is your team. Phil Kessel sucks. Nothing else to it. No one likes him. You don't even like him. You just pretend to like him because he's on your team. Trust us, we know. We did the same thing when he was playing for the Bruins. We lied to ourselves about liking Kessel.
But no one likes Phil Kessel. And that's why he was picked last in a meaningless game.