Nathan Horton is in a slump. That is quite obvious. Why do you think we started Horton Watch 2011?
After starting the season on a tear he has cooled considerably. Most nights lately we completely forget he's on the team until we either say "Wow Horton just missed way wide" or until Jack Edwards says his name. He's been practically invisible.
So where is that Horton we saw earlier this season? He hesitates on shots. Passes when he should shoot. Misses wide. He looks lost. Did he lose his game? Did he lose his confidence? Is there anyone that can help him find it?
In times like these, there's one man we can turn to. He's got more game than Milton Bradley. He's got so much swagger and confidence he makes Hugh Hefner look like that nerdy kid in your high school science class.
To help Horton find his confidence and game, we turned to one man who is so complicated that no one understands him but his women....
After the jump, Patrice Purrgeron takes Nathan Horton under his wing to try to restore his confidence.......
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Apparently this grand conspiracy was started by Nick Kypreos his crew over at Sportsnet.ca.
This entire video is nuts.
Is weed legal in Canada because that's exactly what these assclowns were smoking. Holy hell.
"Toronto's market can ill afford to take any more hits. Leaf fans already know where they stand on the scale of respectability, and a Leaf being picked last is another shot at a once-storied franchise. Watching Alex Ovechkin taking a cell phone picture as Patrick Kane announced "with the last pick," you start to wonder how many around the league quietly enjoyed Kessel's humiliation" --Nick Kypreos
The fact that the Canadian media needs to go and defend Kessel for being picked last in a meaningless puff-show game just shows you 1) Toronto is off it's fucking railings and 2) How big of a pussy Kessel is that people need to constantly blow him to make him feel good about his situation.
Because he's fucking Phil Kessel. Why can't people just admit that no one likes Phil Kessel? He's a tool. He's lazy and thinks he's 10x better than he actually is.
Here's another reason why Kessel was probably picked last in a game designed for his type of play.
Zero points. Three shots. A +1. This in a game where there was 21 goals. He's making Horton look good.
Leafs fans are lucky Kessel was even picked for the All-Star Game.
But since Leafs fans are so keen on conspiracy theories on why their beloved team sucks and why Phil Kessel was picked last in a dumb draft, here's one:
Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke is a Boston Bruins operative.
That's right. The Leafs front office leader is actually on Jacobs' payroll. In fact, Burke is a robot secret agent being control by Cam fucking Neely at the Boston Garden. Why else would he trade all those juicy draft picks on an under-performing, unlikeable winger?
Here's an idea, Toronto. Get over yourself. You're not that special and neither is your team. Phil Kessel sucks. Nothing else to it. No one likes him. You don't even like him. You just pretend to like him because he's on your team. Trust us, we know. We did the same thing when he was playing for the Bruins. We lied to ourselves about liking Kessel.
But no one likes Phil Kessel. And that's why he was picked last in a meaningless game.
Finally, the All Star Break is over and real hockey has returned... and wouldn't you know it, we're playing the team who's Guardian was the hero of the All Star Game. Thank god the Hurricane was there when the rest of the Guardians were caught by Devlin Dark...
God god, it sounds even stupider when I type it. We used to trust you Stan Lee! I'm switching to DC Comics!
Moving on, the Bruins are finishing off their series against the Canes tonight. In the past three games, the Bruins are 2-1, and outscore Carolina 10-5. One of those games was a 7-0 violation of the Hurricanes, which Mr. 105.9 and his massive slapshot had a lot to do with.
Doing our best to not make an inappropriate "Chara's rocket" joke...
Carolina is just one point out of a playoff spot, so if they have any brains at all, they're going to bring their A+ game tonight and it'll be nice if the Bruins pick off right where they left off before the All Star Break rather than hide behind Thomas.
After the Jump: Roster, Video, and more links than you can shake a stick at!
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Our man-crush on Johnny Boychuk is well known. Everything from Boychuk Facts to Super Boychuk proves it. We couldn't deny it even if we wanted to.
And so we bring you, dear readers, a new Boychuk photoshop -- one we had hoped to turn into a t-shirt until we realized we'd probably be sued by the Boston Bruins and Johnny Boychuk's agent for trademark, copyright and likeness infringement.
Nonetheless, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it as, say, a computer background.
Days of Y'Orr crew is having a busy, but interesting weekend. Went to a Shawn Thornton autograph signing and got Justin's Shawn Thor(nton) picture signed. Thornton got a kick out of it. Then we told him he was the third greatest NHL player of all time again and he thanked us for putting him ahead of Gretzky. He jokingly said we might be a bit demented if we believed that but he appreciated the notion. Thornton is a super nice guy. Seriously, if you ever see him at a signing he's great. Very friendly, especially to the younger fans, and doesn't mind idiots like us.
One of the Days of Y'Orr staff members was on the same hotel bus as a Minnesota Wild scout. A discussion about Phil Kessel was had. Hilarity ensued.
Tonight is the All-Star game. Greg has already made our feelings abundantly clear in regards to some of the festivities going on.
The "Fantasy Draft" aspect was intriguing and fun in some ways. Hilarious that Phil Kessel got picked last. He can say whatever he wants but we know that in at least some small way it bothers him. Can't believe he even got picked for the game. He's not even the best player on his team this season.
The draft also saw the Sedin twins get split up and Chara and Thomas ended up on different teams. Thomas is probably looking forward to shutting down his teammate.
One of the many, many awesome things about Tim Thomas is that he goes all out in everything he does. Watch when he's in net today. All the other players will be coasting around because its a meaningless All-Star game and Thomas will be playing his balls off. It gets personal when someone scores on him, no matter what game it is. And that is why we're pumped about the Bruins Cup chances. We're just looking forward to real hockey resuming again.
After the jump.... Thomas falls, Chara blasts and we get ready for those stupid Guardians......
And just in time for his autograph signings that's happening this weekend.
* Saturday, January 29 - Worcester Sharks vs. Providence Bruins at 7pm (Autographs going on between 6-8pm) * There's supposedly another signing going on with Thort tomorrow in Tewksbury... we're trying to get the details on that. Keep checking back; we'll update once we know more.
If you get him to sign this, send in pics to
with your story.
Not surprisingly to any reasonable human being, TheHockeyNews guys got a lot of shit for saying Matt Cooke was "victimized." THN, however, seemed pretty taken a-back by the slew of insults and replies. And so... more tweets came.
We agree. Dirty hits won't go away when Bertuzzi and Cooke do. Cheap hits will probably always be part of the game. Whatevs. We get that. But you're calling Cooke a victim? Now that's just dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
What THN probably wanted was to stir up some shit and get some hits to the website. It probably worked. People love controversy. Hell, we're writing a post about it. But THN credibility's gotta be taking a hit for this. After the jump... we see what Dawson and the Republic of Twitter thinks...
Boston Bruins fans will be happy to know that they've struck the fear of god into at least one Bruins player.
"I kind of panicked. I had a wide-open net to shoot at, and I just didn’t shoot. He came out of the net and I kind of panicked and I was thinking, I better score or else I’m gonna get rained on. I think it banked off of one of their sticks and bounced in." --Brad Marchand, after last night's win
Too bad that never worked for Dennis Wideman. Maybe Horton needs to start scoring out of fear.
Marchand is has 12 goals, 12 assists and is a +21 with 22 PIM. We've picked him up in our fantasy leagues. We're not sure how hot he'll stay after the All-Star Break but we'll ride him for as long as possible.
Good way to head into the All-star break. Bruins are four points up on Montreal in the division. Most of the Bruins skaters will get some much needed rest.
Games against the Panthers always seem to be close. Bruins were the better team for the majority of the game, but Vokoun made the big saves. Thomas made more. Thomas is a beast. Bergeron is a beast. Marchand is a beast. Lucic got his 20th goal.
Bruins keep rolling. Good bounce back game after that poor effort in LA. Just keep kicking ass boys.
After the jump.... Thomas saves, Marchand kicks ass and the Bruins roll.......