Before I get my balls deep in this recap's ass, what the fuck is up with the conference alignment proposed by the NHL? Having Tampa and Florida in "Conference 2" (and for the sake of arguments and not being so generic as Conference 2, I'm calling it Adams Division) make no sense geographically. If I had my way, I would remove the Florida teams from the conference (and NHL) and add them to "Conference 1", remove the New York teams and add them to Adams Division. It would look something like this:
|Conference 1||Adams Conference|
|Pittsburgh Headaches||Boston Bruins|
|Philadelphia Filthdragons||Buffalo LOLS|
|New Jersey Slutresses||Montreal Ribbits|
|Florida Early Bird Specials||Brooklyn Nobody Shows Up|
|Tampa Bay Something or Others||New York Rags|
|Columbus Last Placers||Detroit Old Folks Home|
|Carolina Race Cars||Toronto 67ers|
|Ottawa French Cries|
I mean, that would make the most sense right? Of course, this is the NHL so things that make sense don't particularly work out. If anything, having these two degenerates in Adams means there could be a possible move for each franchise.
Either way, Boston is visiting their new Conference chums today in Sunrise as the Bruins face off against the Florida Pussycats. The Pussies are coming off being stuffed by the Penguins a night after they squirted out a victory against the Flyers. The Pussies looked pretty sloppy in that loss, taking a hard waxing by the Pens.
Boston is coming off of a great 4-2 win over the Tampa Bay Blue Hairs - something no one on Days of Y'Orr predicted as I was all doom and gloom re: the Lightning power play. Instead, the Bruins PK took that PP and just cranked the shit out of it until there was absolutely no gusto left. They worked the Lightning PP into submission and made them squirt milky tears of sorrow.
I'm not to worried about today's game given that Florida is 4th in the Southeast Division and have a goal difference of -20 (41 goals scored against 61 given up). This is coming from a team that finished 3rd in the NHL last season and now can't get out of the basement. Apparently last season wasn't the norm for the Panthers.
You can tell when a team doesn't give a shit about their own club. Look at this ticket promotion:
Look at how fucking excited these people are to be at a Panthers game. They couldn't find something more excited than two people drinking a beer and a guy sleeping during a Panthers hockey game? This is the first image you see when you go to the Panthers website - a clear indication that this franchise just doesn't give a shit.
It's the perfect way to describe the southeast division in general: pathetic. From slewfooting Jeff Skinner to the Lightning's huge fucking movie screen that casts a shadow over the rink larger than the Manon Rhéaume experiment and the Florida fucking attendance. That conference is where respect and dignity go to die and shame pisses all over their tombstones. The NHL would be better off shipping that division to an island in the middle of East Bumfuck and blowing it up.
It's a shameful thing Lobsterhead.
I hope Boston goes in there and just skullfucks the living shit out of the Florida Panthers, but it's not like anyone not wearing a black and gold jersey would care because no one gives a rat's ass (pun intended) about the Florida fucking Panthers. Not even the Florida Panthers.
The rest of the preview and all that shit after the jump...Add a comment