Ah, it feels good writing a game preview again. Here's the fucking problem with this game: 

1. It's against Winnipeg and Winnipeg has the most insufferable bunch of fans this side of Montreal
2. It's a fucking matinee game. 

The Winnipeg Jets are coming off of a 4-1 loss to the Ottawa Senators and looked pathetic while doing it. It should be expected, I guess, because when a team signs a goalie like Ondrej Pavelec $19.5M for 5 years to play goal. ONDREJ-FUCKING-PAVELEC! You're going to give a guy a hair under $4M a year for a GAA a hair under 3 (2.91) and a SV% a hair over .900 (.901?) 

Is this a joke? Is this fucking circus land where shit doesn't make sense anymore? Does Winnipeg own some money tree that just sprouts $100 yellow bills or whatever the fuck they use up there for currency? I mean Jesus Christ, That makes Lucic's $6M a year look like a hometown discount. If we use Winnipeg math, Lucic would own half of Eastern Europe and some stock in the Asian Market. 

It just boggles the mind why they would look at a guy like Pavelec to shore up the most important position in the game of hockey...and then pay him that amount of money to be horrible at it! 

Just look at the Pavelec contract as a microcosm of everything wrong with the Jets. For some reason their fans believe they will make the playoffs, which leads me into my first point when I kicked off this preview. I loath the Winnipeg Jet fan like I loath the Montreal Canadien fan. 

Yes, you lost an NHL franchise and yes you have one back, but have you seen the talent on the ice? Outside of Evander Kane, you have no one of worth that isn't overweight. I don't see how you could look at this roster and think to yourself "Oh, there's a playoff team". Take the blue colored aviators off and look at this like a person who enjoys hockey. Their roster is shitsauce. The Jets will have an easier time getting consecutive blowjobs from Manti Te'o's girlfriend them they do making the NHL playoffs in 2013. 

And it pissed me off when people start blowing the Winnipeg fans, calling them the 12th man or whatever the fuck they are. Knock it off. 

I'm sorry for kicking these truths at you like Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon, but it needs to be done. You're Atlanta, a team that was moved because they were terrible and no one went to games. Enjoy these 47 games left because that's all you're getting this year. When Ottawa takes you to task, you have some things to work on.

This of course means that the Bruins are going to lose and all those fucking idiots are going to come here and be like "SEE WE WON, FUCK YOU PEZ" or some mitten-stringer who uses Seguin's last name on Twitter other than hers will be like "OMG PEZ, CHRIS BORQUE LOL" because its a matinee game. 

My worry is that the Bruins will play down to their opponent and look like a squirt team out there. You know what I'm talking about Bruins fans because we've seen it year after year. They're Cinderella when the game is at 7 and they're a fucking scrub cleaning lady when the game is at 1. I don't get it one bit. 

The hope is that they can come off of Saturday's ass kicking of "the best team in the Eastern Conference" and carry it into Monday's game. It'll be tough because the Bruins then have to head to New York for a rematch against the Rangers and it would be easy to overlook these blue and white sacks of shit.  

After the jump, the rest of the preview...

Before the season started DOY Patron Saint and Third Greatest NHLer of All Time Shawn Thornton had this to say about the lockout:

Snazzy coat, Twos.

And, well, he didn't waste much time before dropping the gloves in this season. After the NY Rangers scored on a partial-screen shot to cut the Bs lead to 2-1, Twos Fist of Fury saw an opportunity to right the ship and break the seal, if you will, at the same time. The result was Thornton beating down a much bigger Rupp.

Shortly after, Merlot teammate Campbell did a little jig with his fists. Both fights help stop-thrust the Rangers momentum after their goal and help swing it back toward Boston's favor.  Julien was pleased.

“They did exactly what we expect them to do,” said the B’s bench boss. “Shawn has always been there for us, Soupy always like to take on bigger guys than he should, but that just means that he doesn’t back down from everybody. Not only did they score the goal, they did a lot of good things.”

Veteran move by one of the hardest working guys in the NHL.

Rest of the game recap is here. For more awesome Bruins videos check out Dafoomies YouTube page. Seriously, there's over 400 hockey vids -- most Bruins related.

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. I feel like I need a cigar after watching that game. How good did it feel to finally have the Bruins back in action? Yeah, whatever game you watched before probably made you happy that you were watching the NHL, but to watch your Bruins play a meaningful hockey game since May was special. 

The Bruins did not disappoint us tonight either. After 113 arduous days, we finally got to see our team come back and play some hockey and they looked like the team we thought they would. From the drop of the puck it was evident that the chemistry that's taken about two seasons to cultivate never left as the Bruins took it to the Rangers. 

It's good to soak in the victory of tonight's game, but remember that it's just one game in a short 48 game sprint. However, the team pretty much dominated a team that most people picked to win the Eastern Conference, if not the Stanley Cup. The questions that were asked throughout the shortened training camp were answered, if for one night, especially when it came to Tuukka Rask and Dougie Hamilton. Hamilton didn't look "lost" out on the ice tonight, something that was a little concerning at the scrimmage (from what I've heard/been told). 

Alright, lets jump into the breakdown of this bad boy...

Jeremy Jacobs showing how out of touch he is with the Bruins fanbse, held a press conference this evening before the game. Yep. First game after 100+ days of lockout and Jeremy Jacbos decided to hold a press conference to talk about the lockout and throw everyone under the bus, especially the players. Everyone was having a grand ol time with hockey returning and then Jacobs had to go stomping through the party and make a scene. Awful.

Most of the finger pointing came during the Q&A portion. But seriously, what was the point of all that? What was the point of poking at the embers? Does Jacobs have a bad case of the butt hurt that he felt the need to unleash on the players on Opening Day? If anything, those words came at least a week late.

From NESN.com:

“Let me make this observation,” he said. “Nobody won, but more importantly, nobody lost at this point.”

Yea, well, except for all the small and local businesses.

And from ESPN.com:

Jacobs, regarded as one of the most militant hard-line owners driving the lockout, appeared to blame the union for a deal not getting done sooner, saying it "should've and could've" been resolved quicker and characterized it as "disappointing."

Of the union, Jacobs said: "There was no expression of a desire to make a deal."

When asked to elaborate how a deal could have been brokered earlier -- the labor standoff lasted almost four months before an agreement was reached earlier this month -- Jacobs deflected blame onto the NHLPA.

"You'd really have to ask the other side on that," he said.

Our official response to Jacobs:

Whelp, folks. After months and months of waiting for the NHL and the NHLPA to get their shit together and sit down and settle things, NHL hockey returns to Boston.

Seriously. Hockey is back. And for those who still think the Bruins are locked out, Jeremy Jacbos splurged on a new banner to welcome fans return.

Speaking of Jacobs, he's holding a press conference for who knows what reason this evening before the game. Guy has a lot of balls or is that out of touch to show his face on the Bruins home opener after he led the NHL Lockout charge this fall/early-winter. If no one asks Jacobs if the lockout was worth it and how he can justify it to fans than the reporters there will have let us all down.

But enough of that asshole. We don't want him ruining our good fun.

Today the Bruins take on the NY Rangers which is the equivalent of being tossed into the deep end of the pool. The Rangers were first in the East last year, seven points ahead of the Bruins. They're always in the hunt for the Stanley Cup come spring but that's easy to do when your goalie is wearing pads the size of the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man. 

Trolololol. Man it feels good to be back.

More after the jump...

The massive amounts of hetero man-love we hold for Shawn Thornton is known far and wide across the land, and a big reason is that his interviews are always classic.  The interview he gave at the Hockey Ressurection Party last night was no exception.

We hoped to have this up earlier, but Youtube was being a pain in the ass, but all good things to those who wait.

"We take hockey from the corrupt, and we give it back to you - the people!" --Bane

We love hockey. And we love comics. So we're kinda disappointed we weren't in Toronto for Superhero Hockey. But this looks like a lot of fun.

Video from the Sean Ward Show:

Few thoughts:

- Great impression by the Bane cosplyer.
- Loved that Commissioner Gordon was the ref.
- The Iron Man Maple Leaf might actually be better than the real Maple Leaf goalies. *sad trombone*
- Batman recovered from his fight with Bane in this game as he did in Dark Knight Rises
- And how the hell did Rogue play hockey in heels? Damn...

After the jump... pics from the game...

Anyone who has pics of the event shoot us an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . We want to create a Facebook album with everyone's pics.

Last night was Hockey Resurrection at the Harp and over 600 fans came out toe celebrate the return of the NHL and Boston Bruin hockey. Shawn Thornton, Lyndon Byers and the legendary Rene Rancourt also came out to kick off the season in fine fashion. Huge thanks to everyone who came out to party, chat us up, take pics and overall make it a kickass night. We're stoked hockey's back.

 Here's a video segment from NECN on last night's event:

More after the jump...

The NHL bought a full-page ad in the Boston Globe today, meaning they'be apologized more in the Globe than owner Jeremy Jacobs has. Here's a screenshot from the PDF. You can download the PDF here.

After the jump is the text in case the image is too small for you.

Here we go, 3 days left until the Bruins drop the puck and we're headed into the meat of the Northeast Division. The Buffalo Sabres, one of DOY's most bitter rivals. The rivalry between the Bruins and the Sabres have been well documented over the past few season, culminating in Milan Lucic absolutely running the fuck over Ryan Miller. Miller then calls Lucic a piece of shit, Brendan Shanahan sits on his hands, Lindy cries that it's open season on goalies, Lucic beats the shit out of Patrick Kaleta and the Sabres eventually miss the playoffs completely. 

So it's well documented that the Sabres (who many believed would win the Northeast Division) underachieved last season. 

Top Five Scorers:

Last year Buffalo was 17th in goals per game with 2.57. Their offense was average. Their defense was average. Their goaltending was above average, but not great. Basically, what you're looking at is a good team who underachieved. There's nothing more to say about it. 

Goaltending:

Everyone loves to shit all over Ryan Miller because he's a "crybaby", but when you look at the numbers, both Miller and Enroth had good seasons. Miller was 43rd among goalies in GAA (and take into account, NHL.com counts people who have played at least 1 game) and 33rd in SV%. Enroth? 55th in GAA and 34th in SV%. That's not bad at all. 

After the jump the 2013 Buffalo Sabres...