Some crappy bar in Pittsburgh is banning Sam Adams during the Bruins-Pens series because Sam Adams is made in Boston.

Wonder if they're going to ban freedom, too, since that's another great Boston export.

In retaliation all Boston bars are going to ban beer made in Pittsburgh that no one sells because Pittsburgh beers suck.

Pittsburgh bar is banning Sam Adams cause it comes from Boston. I guess we'll have to up the ante and ban their greatest export: shitheads.

— Wayne Whittaker (@WayneTwittaker) May 30, 2013

Pittsburgh bar banning Sam Adams being sold during the Pens-B’s series. Does that mean Boston won’t put French fries on everything?

— Joe Yerdon (@JoeYerdonPHT) May 30, 2013

Boston is also going to ban rapey quarterbacks.

Remember, Montreal and Vancouver changed their names and banned stuff to when facing the Bruins and look how that turned out.

S/T to PuckDaddy for this one.

The Bruins and the Penguins will drop the puck on Saturday at 8pm in Pittsburgh. You can view the rest of the schedule here. 

Now, I've been seeing a lot of "it's hard to hate the Penguins" tweets out there and for that I say just try harder. Look, I like the Penguins. I'll make no bones about it. I think they're a great hockey team and I have an undying love for Jarome Iginla that no black and gold flame could extinguish. If the Pens win the series, I get to see my favorite player since about 2003 play in the Stanley Cup Finals and have a real shot at winning it. That's awesome. 

However, for those who don't like Pittsburgh - they're a very dislikable team and all you need to do is start with their owner: Mario Lemieux. 

Seriously. 

Here's the schedule for the first four games of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Bruins and Penguins.

Games 5-7 will be scheduled if/as needed.

Three more days before Game 1. Feels like forever but the team could use some rest after this season's scheduling. We're glad Seids can get a chance to heal his leg a bit more, especially after getting rocked twice in Game 5.

Get ready for a fun and stressful series.

It's the Bruins and Penguins world and everyone else sucks. Am I doing this right?

Here are the current offensive leaders:

Not bad. Big surprise is Horton. He seems to be invisible this post-season but he's quietly wracking up the points and is the league's best plus/minus. He also is in second place for GWG these playoffs. They're not as memorable as the 2011 run but a GWG is a GWG, dammit.

Also, Krug is only three goals behind Sidney Crosby for the post-season lead and he's played half the number of games. Not bad for the rookie d-man. He also is second place for power play points. Hopefully this trend can continue against Vokoun.

Also (Captain Obvious alert) Pitt is stacked. Stopping Malkin/Neal/Crosby is going to be a big task. We'll really get to see how Boston's young defensive-core handles the speed and skill of the Penguins. We love what we've seen from them so far, so this should be a fun series to watch... also, stressful.

Coming into this game we all had to read the idiotic narrative that Boston chokes all the time, especially when they hade a 3-0 series lead even though they put that narrative to bed the year after. But don't let facts get in the way of guys like Stan Fischler. They're too busy sodomizing themselves with a Rangers dildo to care.

Boston came out flying in this game. They outplayed the Rangers for most of Game 4 and they outplayed the Rangers even more so in Game 5. Tonight was all Bruins. Only reason it wasn't an 8-1 game was because Henrik Lundqvist was standing on his head for his team. Too bad his team already had Memorial Day Weekend tee-time plans. Henrik's reign as the King of No Cups continues for yet another year.

Having Seidenberg back was exactly what Dr. Recchi ordered for the Bruins on an elimination night. Needed to shut down what little offense the Rangers were producing and they did.

Rask was also solid. Hope people don't choke on his balls when they try to talk about his inability to play in big games.

Also not sure where Looch bought his jet engines for tonight's game but we hope he brings it against the Penguins. Holy hell did abuse the speed burst tonight.

Krejci's line and the Merlot line were on fire all game. Torey Krug, too. Holy smokes.

Onto the recap after the jump... lots of goodies in there

I hope everyone has settled down at the Bruins lost. OH EM GEE, THE BRUINS LOST A GAME?! 

Seriously. Calm the fuck down. 

The Bruins had a horrible game on Thursday and they still should have won. It took Tuukka Rask falling down and then just kinda doing nothing as the puck slid past him and Zdeno Chara having a brain fart for New York to be in that game - and even though they won - the Rangers looked fucking HORRIBLE doing it. 

It's why I'm not worried. Why should I be? Because of something that happened two years ago? 

Look, when the playoffs began everyone said "You can't compare this team to the 2011 Stanley Cup Boston Bruins because they're a different team" but it's perfectly acceptable to compare them to a 2010 team that's even older than the Stanley Cup team? Shit, while we're at it can we compare these guys to the 2004 Boston Bruins that blew a 3-1 series lead vs the Canadiens? I mean, that's relevant, right? 

That's even without the mention that the 2011 Boston Bruins swept the Flyers in the Conference Semifinals the year after choking away that 3-0 lead, but they we can't mention that because it doesn't fit our narrative! 

Seriously though, when I'm not worried - you guys shouldn't be worried. Boston was up 3-2 against Toronto and I was already writing them off. I said that Toronto's team speed was to much for Boston. I said that Kessel was rejuvenated against his former team. I said the Bruins looked old and tired. I'm not saying it against the Rangers because the Rangers look fucking terrible on the ice. 

So can we stop it? 

Let's talk about the fact that the Bruins power play has been good this series. They are currently fifth among playoff teams with 20.7% success. Seriously - 20.7%. I can't believe it either. Hell, they scored two of their three goals on the power play last night! 

Unfortunately it takes penalties like plowing into the goalie and flipping the puck over the glass to get a power play. It's a fucking disgrace and I mentioned it in my game 3 recap. 

The lack of penalties against the New York Rangers tonight was a fucking joke. There were multiple times when the Rangers did something that could be called a penalty (Callahan hit on Chara that cut him open, clear Nash hook on Chara, Rich Peverley getting held, Tyler Seguin taking a high stick to the face). 

There's 5:44 left in the third period and whoever is barking for NBC openly states that the Bruins havent even had a power play chance during this game. It's pathetic and the NHL should be ashamed to have such horrible decisions being made on the ice. 

But in Game 4, they scored two power play goals, so I guess you take them when you can get them. 

I've also come to the conclusion that for all the Pierre McGuire bashing we do, he may be a good luck charm for us. It's probably because Ryan Callahan can't focus due to Pierre's lips wrapped around Ryan's flesh pumpkin, but I'll take it. Seriously, Boston is 3-0 this round when McGuire is sitting between the glass. 

I mean, who doesn't love seeing Pierre Dickguire on TV? 

(Stick tap to my buddy Baldwin for the image)

Fucking Dickguire. I don't know how I can make this preview any better, honestly. 

But seriously, It's hard for me to fathom the Rangers mounting a comeback looking as bad as they have through four games. Even in victory they looked terrible. 

I hope we're all calm now or I'm going to have to send Dickguire after you. 

After the jump, we're gonna bump lines. Bruins lines, you addict...

Anytime someone complains about Jack Edwards being the biggest homer this side of the Mississippi we'll just send them a picture of Stan Fischler. Not even sure what this dude's deal is but we're pretty sure if he vomited we'd see a bunch of dildos with Rangers logos all over it.

He wrote a post today about the "Five Reason to Dislike Boston." We're not going to link to it because it's not worth the read but here's his five reasons:

1. They are from Beantown; isn’t that reason enough?

2. Bostonians talk funny, almost incomprehensibly. After all, since when is a Garden called a Ghahdin? Plus, as my pal, Gus Vic, reminds me, “Boston fans are more provincial than any in sports. Their collective universe rarely extends beyond the city limits.”

3. They have an annoying team called the Red Sox. (Not that the Mets are any bargain.)

4. Their subway has trolley cars running in it. (That automatically makes Boston a village, not a city.)

5. As a hockey team, the Bruins have been reprehensible over the years, especially to Rangers fans.

Yikes.

@justindoy He's still mad that Charles Adams broke his daughter's heart at the turn of the century.

— Brad Patterson (@bpatty59) May 24, 2013

Not even concerned. Seriously. Fools like Stan Fischler are going to bring up all that 2010 crap. The Bruins learned from that. It won't happen again. 

They beat themselves tonight. Really, they did. Rangers fans can try to tell us we're being sore losers or whatever but let's review: Rask just flat out fell on that first goal. Defense took themselves out of the play on the power play goal. Rangers can have hope all they want. Bruins will just stop them on Saturday.

This intro would be longer, but Jon is at work, Justin and Robb are out and Greg has two kids. Don't over react Bruins fans. They got this. By this time next week the B's will be playing in the Eastern Conference Finals.

On an elimination game when you want your best players and your captains to lead the way,  John Tortorella scratched alternative-captain and $60M man Brad Richards for tonight's game. Yowzer. From the Rangers Rants:

“I’m surprised, I guess,” said Richards, who turned 33 on May 2 and is still owed $36 million through 2020. “I’m disappointed.”

… Richards said Tortorella called him this morning at home with the news. “Nothing’s over,” Richards said. “Work harder and try my best to never let it happen again.”

Via telephone? Really? Tortz didn't have the balls to tell Richards this to his face? Awful.

Don't like that pun in the headline?

Here we go ladies and fellas. Bruins could close out the sweep against the Rangers tonight with a win. Lots of pressure on NY to pull a rabbit out of their asses.

It'll also be nice to see the Bruins close this series out. Get the sweep and heal up your bodies because it's looking like a Bruins-Pens finals and that will be a bruister of a conference finals and not just because we'd have to listen to NBC suck Crosby's dick the entire time. Speaking of the Pens, they scored 7 goals last night by David Krejci is still leading the post-season point totals.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves quite yet. We shouldn't expect the Rangers to go away quietly. They'll be desperate and they'll be firing on all cylinders all game. Best thing the Bruins can do is score early. Get a few goals in the first and really turn the heat on Lundqvist and the Rangers. Force them to make stupid passes and capitalize.

Johnny Boychuk continues to be a post-season beast for the Bruins. Fun fact: has more goals these playoffs than Tyler Seguin, Rick Nash, Jaromir Jagr, Brad Richards, Anze Kopitar & Corey Perry combined. Holy smokes.

We're also expecting the Merlot Line to continue to be awesome. Some people like to shit on them 'cause they're not high power goal scorers but that line gives all they have every shift. They bang bodies and dig hard in the corners for the puck. They might not score a ton but they're a big reason why the Bruins will get momentum and score a shift or two later.

They've been all over the Rangers and NY has no idea what to do.

More after the jump...