Say what you will about Felger but Sticks N' Stones had a fun feature recently where they interviewed "Bruins fans" to ask them basic questions like "Who's the head coach?" "Who's won more Stanley Cups -- Boston or Montreal?" and simple "Which Bruins player is this?" Yea, this is a ripoff of "Ask a Pink Hat" but you get the nice visual image to add to your prejudice.
So, who's a real fan and who's a Bruins pink hat?
(Note: After the first ad plays you might have to hit play again for the video to work... no idea why but it's happening to us)
Sometimes I wonder what goes through the mind of the NHL schedule makers. The last game the Bruins played was Saturday night against the Sharks (though it could be argued that the last TRUE time the Bruins played a game was last week against the Leafs) and we've had to wait five days for the puck to drop for the black and gold. I don't get how these schedule makers actually make a schedule. The season isn't a month old yet and two teams have played double digit games already (Vancouver has played 10, Pittsburgh has played 11) while most teams are hanging around the 7-9 range of games played. I'm not saying that there's a large disparity in the number of games played because clearly there isn't, I'm just a little peeved that I have to wait five days in between hockey games. I like my puck just like everyone else who fancies this blog does, but five days is a little ridiculous, dontcha think?
Maybe it's a good thing that the B's have five days off though. I'm sure none of them are balls deep in some porn star nobody has heard about until last week, but I'm sure that they have been working hard at practice because by the looks of it, they need it. Looking at the standings in the Northeast Division is like having a horrible case of vertigo. Never would I (and lets be honest, none of you either) have thought that the Toronto Maple Leafs would be leading the division...ever. They were (maybe still are) destined to be a bottom dweller in the division, but they have some young talent so you never know. What surprised me the most is seeing Ottawa above both Boston and Montreal.
Lets play the honest game for a minute. This is where we state things that we would never fully state unless under the guise of the honest game. I never would have thought that the Montreal Canadiens would be last in the EAST, let alone the Northeast Division (Well, technically after their 5-1 win over Philadelphia [Adams Division Fantasy Update: Really, Bryz? You fucker] they're second to last because although Atlantipeg changed uniforms and location in the offseason, you can't change shitty talent). So Montreal is 14th in the East and guess who is in that 13th spot? Our defending Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins! That's right, the defending Stanley Cup Champions, the best team of the 2010-2011 season are in 13th place in the Eastern Conference and a loss tonight to Montreal would make them 14th.
Sad isn't it?
But don't worry guys; you can still relive last season by purchasing your official Jostens Boston Bruins 2010-2011 fan ring, which will only cost you $299! Nothing says being a true fan like buying a personalized $300 ring.
Actually, it could be entirely feasible that the Bruins wake up tomorrow morning in last place in the East. I know it's still October, but when did you ever envision this team at the bottom of the Eastern Conference at any point this season? Let's be real, you didn't. If Atlantipeg somehow beats Philadelphia tonight [Adams Division Fantasy Update: Really, Bryz? You fucker] and the Bruins lose, hello basement. I, however, don't believe that Boston will lose tonight, despite all of this loser talk.
I just hope that the Bruins took these past five days to work on two major things: The offense and the power play. They've been the Bruins achilles heel so far in this young season. I ranted and raved about both last week in my Grindin Gears: Don't Tell Me To Relax Edition post, so I'm not going to do it here. We all know what's wrong with the Bruins, but there's nothing we can do about it. Slowly Milan Lucic is showing us that Whocic is being hung up in the closet. Who would've known that Chris Kelly, yeah the same Chris Kelly everyone shit on when he came to Boston because they somehow expected him to be a 30 goal scorer and not the third line center he was brought in to be, would've been the difference.
I hope the Bruins play like it's the last five minutes against San Jose. I hope the Bruins play like it is last Thursday night against the Maple Leafs. I hope the Bruins play, period. Already we've seen games where they're disjointed and coasting, but division games have much more weight behind them then games against Colorado.
So lets go boys, fire it up tonight. In the words of the immortal Jack Edwards:
Both teams are stuggling. Habs are 2-5-2, finally ending a six game losing streak. Boston's 3-5-0.
Montreal is all about half-ass mode this season. Team's looking like shit on the ice; they want to shake up the team, so they fire their assistant coach that most people probably never heard of 'till he got canned. Unreal. And, of course, Boston's doing their usual "show up for one period and see how it goes" strategy.
All that means nothing when Montreal's in town, though. Game's intensity level instantly leap to playoff mode.
Dr. Recchi's in town to give the Bruins a second opinion on the new lines. Also, rumor has it he's going to check out Pacioretty's baby wrists while he's around.
Speaking of Patches, guy gets a severe concussion is watching the movies two days later. Guy rips his wrist ligaments apart and score two goals on wrist shots. We still stand by our theory. Patches is Weapon X.
Habs fans actually get pissed that we compare Patches to Wolverine. Fucking Wolverine is the best thing to ever come out of Canada. They should be stoked. Helluvalot better than Guardian from Alpha Flight.
Two chants should get going tonight: 9-1-1 (always a classic) and "Nine-ty three" (suggested but our buddy Cornelius), since we can finally throw that bullshit back into Habs fan faces. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Share it.
No Sharks preview 'cause Greg was sick and no recap 'cause... well, when the Bruins only show up for five minutes there's really not much to recap.
Wanna know how brutal the Boston Bruins offense is right now? This sums it up.
Later on if the Bruins manage to figure out the foam block goalies they'll upgrade...
You'd think practicing against Timmy and Tuukka would make the team better at scoring, but apparently not.
Team is getting chances but can't put it home. They're also running into the same problem as last year of them only showing up for one period a game. Can't be getting away with that this year.
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If you haven't seen it the Boston Bruins are doing a new series called Gear Talk with the Pros by Pure Hockey. It's great if you want to learn more about what the Bruins use, be it you're just curious, want to use the same skates as Seidenberg or are just really that obsessed with the team you just have to know.
Anyways, two episodes are out. Brad Marchand talks about his stick... hockey stick, that is. We know, we're surprised, too.
"I like to shave my knob down. I like the feel of it little smaller, little thinner than the shaft." Man, who doesn't?
Seidenberg talks about his skates... which are apparently louder than most skates. They also look like roller blades.
It is hard to call a game "must win" this early in the season but this was it for the Bruins. Tuesday's loss to Carolina was embarassing on so many levels. The effort was embarassing, the penalties were embarassing and the crowd throwing shit onto the ice was embarassing. It left a bitter taste in most fans' mouths.
For the start of the season we didn't care that the Bruins were starting slow. They gave us a Cup last season. How could we be mad? Tuesday night changed that. It was just awful in every sense of the word. With the Leafs on the horizon the pressure was building. Even though we're sick of the whole thing, when Kessel comes to town there is a buzz in the air, especially this year since he is tearing up the NHL. With the Bruins playing so poorly, many wondered if he was going to come in and add insult to injury.
Julien had seen enough before the game. His team was lifeless and needed a spark. So he juggled the lines before Thursday's game.
And for one game at least, it worked. For the first time this season you really felt like the Bruins left it all on the ice. Those were the CHAMPIONS we were waiting to see. They WANTED this game and that was exactly the desire that has been missing. It was such a dominating effort in every sense of the word. It seemed like almost the entire lineup had about 20 points. Boston's leaders stepped up, their young guns stepped up and a few people who had been invisible decided enough was enough. On the back of Tim Thomas, the Bruins swept away the Leafs.
After the jump..... Domination, thy name is Bruins.....
If you're anything like me, you've been shaking your head since last Tuesday and in dire need of seeing something from the Bruins to keep from throwing yourself, or someone else, off the Tobin. But that was last game, time to look forward, but if you're a masochist and wish to relive that awful game, check out the recap, Grinding Gears, and Cam Ward's bitchfest.
Tonight the Bruins have their first divisional match up, and we're facing the 1st place team in the division. No, that wasn't a typo, the Maple Leafs are in first place, right behind *sigh* Buffalo. Fan-freakin-tastic! What's next, Dallas and Colorado winning their divisions?? Oh wait...
It's still early, but I never thought we'd fall five point behind Toronto in the standings. I guess that's bound to happen when you're shooting blanks and scoring less than a shirtless fat guy on South Beach.