Not sure what to say about this game. Bruins could've clinched the division with a win but instead decided to keep the Leafs playoff hopes a live a little bit longer. Maybe that was the plan. Who knows.

Lots of sensitive people are making a big deal over the whole Marchand golf swing incident. Get a life. Players are swearing and dropping mom jokes after every whistle, but a golf swing to the bench has everyone shitting themselves. 

Also, we were a bit shocked that Tuukka didn't start last night. With playoffs already settled, you'd think Julien would want to get a little bit more rest for Thomas and get some reps in for Rask.

After the jump... the full recap...
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Thanks to an unfortunate incident, the third greatest NHL player of all time got a nasty cut over his right eye. This just makes him look more like a BA.

Then some douchenozzle said some stuff. We're still wondering why the Chicago newspaper would interview some homeless person off the streets about the whole incident. Slow newsday.

We weren't overly worried about Twos. Guy's a stud.

But then some odd photos surfaced via Bish and Naoko of Shawn Thornton wearing a visor (see above).
 
Clearly this image has either 1) been altered  or 2) not really Thornton. That could be anyone wearing a helmet and visor. Where's his face!? That could be Mark Recchi for all we know.

Another photo then appeared of "Shawn Thornton" wearing a visor. Horseshit. Next thing they'll tell us is that Bigfoot was in attendance.

 
Oh....nevermind then.
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Chicago's semi-resident retard decided to talk tough today.


Your reaction was probably like ours. "Who the fuck is John Scott?"


Answer... We still don't know.


It's real easy to talk crap when you're 6'8, 260 pounds and won't be facing the Bruins for another year (if ever, in Scott's case). He didn't even play in the Boston game. In fact, he hardly plays at all -- 40 GP. What a fucking joke. Have fun rotting away in the minors.

Other things you should know about John Scott:

* He picks on kids waiting for the school bus... while he's safely locked away in his home (windows shut; doors barred)
* John Walter Scott is better known than John Scott and JWS collected stamps for a living.
* Joel Quenneville doesn't even know who John Scott is.
* Shawn Thornton has more points than John Scott.
* He's a sopping vagina


Top 10 things John Scott sucks at:
1. Hockey
2. Hockey
3. Hockey
4. Hockey
5. Hockey
6. Hockey
7. Hockey
8. Hockey
9. Hockey
10. Making love to a woman

The Nightmare of Causeway Street is waiting for you.

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Hi. Meet Ray.

Ray is many things.

A Canadian redneck.  A daredevil. A Habs fan. A stuntman. A ne'redowell.  

He's also downright fucking hilarious. Watch as he tries his greatest feat yet: jumping his homemade gokart over a mound of snow while wearing no more protection than an Itech goalie mask.


The swig of beer from the giant can in the brownbag plus spitting out the dentures was huge. Bonus points for Ray.

In the end: Canadian rednecks > American rednecks. You're not going to find some Southerner wearing a goalie mask while jumping their John Deer over haystacks. 

"We hope you didn't dick her, Ray." 

Props to Eric (@BosBruinsFan) for sending us this. Made our morning.  Add a comment

Tick Tock Tick Tock, time is winding down on the regular season, just six more games to go until sweet, sweet Stanley Cup Playoffs.  Tonight's game marks their final against Toronto, and second to last Northeast Division game of the season (if Ottawa still counts as a hockey team).

It's becoming increasing difficult to find relevant material for these preview as the season comes to a close.  Bruins have claimed their playoff spot and a win tonight will clinch the Northeast Division.  Out of the six games remaining, only one (NYR) are currently in a playoff position, although technically Toronto has an outside shot.

Hey there we go! Just how good are Toronto's chances of making a playoff push?  Well after the jump, we'll take a look.  If you want the short version though...


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New Boston Bruins Hockey Rules commercial just released.
 
We're left with a lot of unanswered questions, like:

* Bears don't shit in woods!? Bwah!?
* Why didn't the Bear wash his hands after taking a shit in the Garden? 
* What's with all the Bruins bathroom commercials? There's like five of them now.
* Is Cornelius really the love guru? (Answer: Yes)
* Do we have to go back to our posts and change the phrases "Bear shits in woods"? 
* From Catie (see comments): What's that yellow puddle the Bear walks through?



Damn.  Add a comment

I'm diagnosing the Boston Bruins as bi-polar. I think someone made a joke about calling them the Boston Bi-Polar Bears which is utterly hilarious given their play as of late. To whoever came up with that gem (I believe it was in one of our Facebook threads), thank you. You, sir, are a master of comedy and need to hone your skills. So last week's Grindin' Gears was all over the place and I apologize for that. This is the place where I usually fly off the handle so bare with me.

What a week of hockey this has been! Since the last Grindin' Gears piece, the Bruins have gone 3-1 with quality wins over Montreal, Philly and Chicago - all playoff teams. The only gaffe was a 1-0 loss to the Rangers on Saturday, but most of us expected this to happen. If you've been following the Bruins at all for the past couple seasons you know that:

A. They don't play well in the afternoon
B. The team was coming off an emotional win against Montreal

To further my point re: afternoon games, I took a look back at games that started at 1pm or earlier (yes, the Coyotes games in Prauge count) and Boston's record is a wonderful 2-7. The only two wins they got was a 3-0 win in Prauge over Phoenix and a 7-0 win over Carolina in Carolina. Here's the good thing about 1pm games: they don't happen in the playoffs.

Another thing that's been working for the Bruins is their power play. Yeah, no shit. In the past four games the Bruins are 3-10 (and had zero chances against the Blackhawks) and beginning to develop chemistry with the two units. 30% success in four games? Yeah I'll take that to the fucking bank every day.

After the jump we look at some more good stuff....
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Second period Shawn Thornton decided Cuts for a Cause would come early.


We were at the game so we didn't get to see the replay of this 'till this morning. We just saw Thornton get off the ice, throw is helmet down and skate off to the bench. Then, suddently, he turns around looking like he was about to clock the ref. Clearly someone on Chicago's bench said something. Dumb move.


Bunch of tough guys talking smack to a someone who they know isn't coming back to the game. Pussies.

Per NESN: 

"Someone said, obviously I can't swear while I'm talking to you guys, but there was some stuff said that I'm not too happy about," Thornton said. "If I ever find out who it was I'll deal with it in my own way."

AKA... they're dead.

 
We were hoping Twos would get Ten. Instead Twos for Forty... stitches.

We don't expect Thort to miss much (if any) games for this. Bruins have the playoffs locked up so there's no need to rush him back either.  Add a comment

Great game. Chicago is a desperate team. The defending champs may not even make the playoffs. They sit 8th in the Western Conference. Every game for the rest of the season is a playoff game for them.

The Bruins didn't care. They brought it tonight. Wasn't the flashiest victory. Admittedly as much as we like hockey some parts of this game were down right boring. Who cares. Bruins came out and shutdown the Blackhawks. Thomas showed why he is the Vezina favorite once again. Zdeno Chara led by example. Seguin didn't show up on the scoreboard but he was a beast again. 

Corey Crawford was strong. The Bruins were patient. They broke him. Boston held their shit together while the refs turned a blind eye towards Chicago's cheap shots and blatant penalties. The Bruins did what good teams do.... they hung in the game and made something happen. Simple as that. In the process they took another step towards locking up the Northeast Division. 

That disappointing matinee loss against the Rangers is a distant memory after back to back wins over last year's Stanley Cup Finals teams. B's are not f'ing around lately.

After the jump...... what we liked and didn't like about tonight's game......

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The Bruins will play their first game as an official playoff team. Whoopie! Now lets put all that talk aside for a minute because the seeding isn't locked up yet. The Bruins still have a chance to climb as high as #1, but can still be taken out by the Canadiens (mathematically true, so shush). With that in mind, the Bruins can't coast for the next 7 games just because they locked up a playoff spot. If they do that, they may as well schedule their trip to Cedar Glen in Saugus for a wonderful 9 holes of golf.

To increase that need to play well, Chicago comes in fighting for their playoff lives. They are currently 8th in the Western Conference with 90 points, three points ahead of my beloved Calgary Flames. If the Bruins were to do me a solid and win, preventing Chicago from gaining two points, that'd be wicked pissah. Chicago's been playing well, however. They're 5-3-2 in their last 10 games, 4-2 in their last 6 games and wins over San Jose, Detroit and Phoenix - all playoff teams.


For the Bruins to pull out the win tonight, they need to exploit Chicago's goaltending issues and continue their success on the power play. Yeah, you read that right - success on the power play. In Philadelphia, Boston scored two power play goals, something they've had trouble doing over the past four freaking years. They'll need their rosy cheeked, doughy, puck moving defenseman more than ever down this stretch.

Another reason why I want Boston to beat Chicago other than my obvious fan bias? Patrick Kane is a huge douche.


After the jump, we take a look at the projected roster and some Game Day Links...

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