The other day it was reported that the NHL realignment proposal would leave the three division/two conference setup and to a four conference/0 divison set up, meaning the Boston Bruins and the Pittsburgh Penguins could've faced each other for the Stalney Cup finals. The possible Cup FInal matchups made the idea really exciting, but it appears that's no longer the case.

Pierre LeBrun of ESPN is reporting the proposal is a two-division/two-conference set up. Top three teams per division make the playoffs plus a couple of wild cards:

The playoff format as detailed in the league memo Tuesday calls for the top three teams in each division to earn postseason berths. The remaining four spots would go to wild cards, the top two records in each conference. That means there's a possibility five teams make it from one division and only three from another.

Not loving the wild cards, really. Way too MLB for our liking.

Also there are two names being tossed up for the Bruins divsion -- Northeast and Central. Problem with calling it Northeast is that Tampa and Florida aren't northeast unless we're watching from South America. Problem with Central is that those teams aren't central to anything either. What a shitty name. Just go with Orr or Adams and call it a day. Geographical division names are boring anyways.

Man, the Bruins really gave it to state of Florida didn't they? Just absolutely took that state and humped it into submission, like watching a drunk dog trying to hump a Japanese sex doll. Just really dug in there and just buried their puck into Florida's netting. Forget for a minute that the Bruins basically played on a melting glacier and think about seeing 12 of these games a year. This new alignment has guaranteed the Bruins at least 8-10 wins a year, which I guess is a good thing. 

So now Boston gets to finish the last leg of their tour known as the "Lesser Teams Tour" and play the Islanders on Long Island. Johnny Boychuk was on the radio today and said he loves playing in Long Island because it's basically a Bruins home game and he's right. No one in Long island gives a shit about their hockey team, but can you blame them? 

You have to feel bad for a guy like John Tavares who is insanely talented but is surround by paraplegic donkeys who can't play hockey. The guy is tied for first in the NHL in goals with 13 and is third in points with 25. After that, you have to dig deep and find Brad Boyes is their second points leader with 15. Brad fucking Boyes. 

Even when the Islanders move to the Barclay's Center in Brooklyn next year it doesn't change the fact that their roster is comprised of John Tavares and that huge pile of shit that Biff drove into in Back To The Future. Ask the hosers in Winnipeg how awesome it is to have the Atlanta Thrashers losing games. The only difference is that someone is showing up to watch them blow leads, hands out ridiculous contracts and have Stay Puft trolling the blue line and missing every other game BECAUSE HE'S ON MY FUCKING FANTASY HOCKEY TEAM. He is fucking hurt so much, I thought the DTD was 'Diet To Diet" and they were trying to have him losing a little of that baby weight. 

I wish I could tell you I was worried about this game like I was with the Lightning, but I'm not. We're talking about a 12th place hockey team who gives up 8 more goals than they've scored this season. A team that ranks 29th in goals against per game, right above Florida. Their goaltending is a Louisiana levee and the Bruins are just going to bury it in a hurricane of pucks. 

The only thing the Islanders have going for them is they can score. Their offense is ranked 8th in the NHL scoring 2.90 goals per game (and Boston is 9th) and their power play is ranked 5th at 24.4% success, but Boston's counterparts outrank the Islanders. Boston is 6th in goals against per game and their penalty kill is 1st in the NHL. 

The Bruins could just leave the net open tonight and I am still confident they would win. Maybe that's the disgusting homer fan in me that I keep medicated enough so I can be impartial when I talk about hockey (LOL OKAY) but this team has been playing some good hockey as of late against mediocre to bad teams. They have played about 5 games less than everyone else and are 5th in the East. That says something about the talent they put on the ice. 

After the jump the rest of the preview...

So the other day Ryan Miller lost his shit... again.

Oof. About time for Buffalo to show a little fight but their timing is awful. You throw down when the opposing team cheapshots you, not when your own defenseman pushes a forward into you. Same thing with Weber. He's the one who throws Martin into Miller and then he starts dishing out fisticuffs. Embarrassing. 

Ryan Miller needs to get the hell out of Buffalo. He needs a new scenary, a new team, a new management system. Buffalo is a shitshow. Look at this face. He looks like a madman. He's gone from angsty emo to potential homicidal maniac and it's all Lucic's fault, right?

The guy is a powderkeg every game now. If he's not flipping his shit post-game telling the reporters how awful his teammates are he's flipping his shit on ice and punching guys for things his teammates do.

The Sabres are a joke and even the owner's daughter thinks so.

Jon predicted a 4-2 win during the DOY pregame show. So close Jon, so close.

Although Zdangle's goal should probably count as ten goals because it was so awesome. Even the Florida defense was mesmerized by the pure beauty of that goal. We heard Chara's wife's orgasm all the way in our mom's basement. 

Before Chara embarassed the entire Florida team the bi-annual Florida Panthers Alumni Game was very friendly.

Not nice guys. Funny, but not nice. But funny.

What a goal by Zdeno Chara. Birth rates are gonna sky rocket in nine months.

GIF made by Josh Gold-Smith.

Tune in for today's episode of the Days of Y'Orr Pregame Show LIVE. The show starts at 2:00pm. At around 1:45pm we'll update this page with a live stream player below.

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On Today's Episode:

This afternoon we'll be talking about the Bruins/Panthers game, the NHL's latest realignment proposal, Tim Thomas Surfaces, and more. Also, if you're sensitive to certain words, be forewarned that we don't care. 

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- Greg's Game Day Preview for Bs vs. Lightning
- Here's the lowdown on the latest NHL Realignment Proposal 
- The first of a series of videos from the NHL Department of Safety on how the system works
- 

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Before I get my balls deep in this recap's ass, what the fuck is up with the conference alignment proposed by the NHL? Having Tampa and Florida in "Conference 2" (and for the sake of arguments and not being so generic as Conference 2, I'm calling it Adams Division) make no sense geographically. If I had my way, I would remove the Florida teams from the conference (and NHL) and add them to "Conference 1", remove the New York teams and add them to Adams Division. It would look something like this: 

I mean, that would make the most sense right? Of course, this is the NHL so things that make sense don't particularly work out. If anything, having these two degenerates in Adams means there could be a possible move for each franchise. 

Either way, Boston is visiting their new Conference chums today in Sunrise as the Bruins face off against the Florida Pussycats. The Pussies are coming off being stuffed by the Penguins a night after they squirted out a victory against the Flyers. The Pussies looked pretty sloppy in that loss, taking a hard waxing by the Pens. 

Boston is coming off of a great 4-2 win over the Tampa Bay Blue Hairs - something no one on Days of Y'Orr predicted as I was all doom and gloom re: the Lightning power play. Instead, the Bruins PK took that PP and just cranked the shit out of it until there was absolutely no gusto left. They worked the Lightning PP into submission and made them squirt milky tears of sorrow. 

I'm not to worried about today's game given that Florida is 4th in the Southeast Division and have a goal difference of -20 (41 goals scored against 61 given up). This is coming from a team that finished 3rd in the NHL last season and now can't get out of the basement. Apparently last season wasn't the norm for the Panthers. 

You can tell when a team doesn't give a shit about their own club. Look at this ticket promotion: 

Look at how fucking excited these people are to be at a Panthers game. They couldn't find something more excited than two people drinking a beer and a guy sleeping during a Panthers hockey game? This is the first image you see when you go to the Panthers website - a clear indication that this franchise just doesn't give a shit. 

How pathetic. 

It's the perfect way to describe the southeast division in general: pathetic. From slewfooting Jeff Skinner to the Lightning's huge fucking movie screen that casts a shadow over the rink larger than the Manon Rhéaume experiment and the Florida fucking attendance. That conference is where respect and dignity go to die and shame pisses all over their tombstones. The NHL would be better off shipping that division to an island in the middle of East Bumfuck and blowing it up. 

It's a shameful thing Lobsterhead. 

I hope Boston goes in there and just skullfucks the living shit out of the Florida Panthers, but it's not like anyone not wearing a black and gold jersey would care because no one gives a rat's ass (pun intended) about the Florida fucking Panthers. Not even the Florida Panthers. 

The rest of the preview and all that shit after the jump...

With the WInnipeg Jets returning to the NHL, the league still wants to work on some sort of realignment plan. Makes sense because Winnipeg being in the Southeast makes no sense. Here's the latest NHL realignment propsal:

New realignment, via @friedgehnic. Part I. Detroit heads East. twitter.com/cotsonika/stat…

— Nick Cotsonika (@cotsonika) February 24, 2013

Boston would be in a division with their usual pals the Sabres, Habs, Leafs, Sens and welcome into the fold the Red Wings, Panthers, and Lightning.

Image from PuckDaddy

Here's what the West would look like:

Image from PuckDaddy

It's better than the last proposal. Making the Florida teams part of the Northeast Expanded Division (aka Conference 2) seems a bit odd. But that Conference 1 set up looks like a fucking meatgrinder and would be fun to watch.  The way the West Side Yo Conferences are set up makes a lot of sense. But there being two extra teams in the Eastern Conferences is a little odd; we'd thought the NHL would want to keep that stuff as even as possible. Expansion soon? Bring back the Nordiques! Bring back the Adams Division!

Few peeps on twitter are saying under this proposal any team can make any team (not in their division) for the Stanley Cup. Not sure how they decide what conference champs from each group faces who. If they do East 1 vs East 2 there goes the fun of possibly a Flyers-Bruins bloody Cup final.

What do you guys think about this realignment plan?

Awesome video from the NHL on how the player safety/suspension hearing process works from start to finish. 

Hey, look, Marchand! You're famous!!

NHL is always getting blasted for their suspension/non-suspension calls and a lot of it has to do with fans not really understanding how the process works. Loving that this video details how it works from start to finish.

Doesn't help the "well why is this hit suspendable and this one isn't?" arguments that will always happen between players, coaches, front offices and fan bases but at least there's a little more clarity in how the system works before. That bit was always a foggy -- at least for fans.

Tonight's game was sponsored by the number 2. Bruins move to 10-2-2. Bruins scored two goals, then Lightning scored two goals, then Bruins scored two goals.

Nathan Horton scored two goals. Dougie Hamilton assisted on both of those two goals. Justin has a two inch penis. The second Tampa Bay goal was softer than Robb when he sees a naked woman.

Jon is going to get punched in the face twice next time the DOY staff is together. 

Great win though. When the Bruins blew that two goal lead we peed a little. "NOT AGAIN" we may or may not have yelled. But then the Bruins were all like "oh wait, Tampa's goalie sucks. FLAME ON!" Oh Horty you.... you got what we neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. Tampa can't defend! No Tampa can't defend!

...sorry, where were we?

We're currently contacting the MBTA to see if they can celebrate the Bruins getting 10 wins by putting happy messages on all buses tomorrow. We'll let you know how that goes.