I'm not sure what the issue was Saturday night, but the Bruins looked like they were playing a regular season game in the middle of April out there. Are these guys fucking serious? That game was probably one of the worst displays of hockey I've seen from Boston this season. There was little jump to their step after a dominating Game 1. They seemed to be floating around out there. Much like Pittsburgh against New York, you have to try if you want to win games. You don't win games on paper. 

Tonight will be a telling tale for the boys. It's the first playoff game in the ACC since 2004 and it will be loud. I mean, that's not saying much when you watch games on NESN because the Garden has sounded quiet on TV. I tried looking for decible levels during the playoffs, but I haven't been able to find any. Either way, Toronto is going to feed off of this energy in a big way. 

It all stems from the Bruins finding their drive. 

I know we use the term "lazy" a lot when it comes to the Boston Bruins, but I think that it's starting to be engrained in who they are. This team is either a bunch of world beaters or they are getting stomped on. There's really no middle ground. Saturday night, they got stomped on. 

And I don't want to hear this bullshit about the refs. 

(I forget who made this, but thanks)

The refs have been horrible all season long and continue to be horrible in every playoff series. Welcome to the NHL, where their referees are straight garbage. If the Bruins allow the referees to get in their heads, they deserve to lose. They're fucking professionals - they can't sulk because the refs have given the edge to the Maple Leafs. 

Is it frustrating to watch your team get 8 seconds of power play time in one game? Yup, especially when Toronto was just as physical as they were - but those are the breaks. You know what doesn't win you games? Bitching about it. I have a better idea, stop being pussies and score some fucking goals. 

Especially with this guy in net: 

But then again, we have a coach who is making the NHL's active leading goal scorer playing with Rich Peverley and Chris Kelly. How about you put a finisher with Jaromir Jagr and not two players who finished with a combined 9 goals this season. How about moving Brad Marchand down to the third line and having Jagr with Bergeron and Seguin? 

I mean, I have nothing against Kelly and Peverley, outside of the fact that neither of them are worth the amount of money they're being paid, but you can't expect Jaromir Jagr to perform well when those two can't get out of their own way. I mean, put the guy with Dan Paille and Greg Campbell at least. 

I can't do this anymore. 

I hope this team comes out with some fire in their belly because if leave Toronto down 3-1, I don't see a way they come back from it. Tonight is a pivatol game for the Bruins. 

After the jump, the rest of the preview...

A NOTE FROM DAYS OF Y'ORR GENERAL MANAGER PATRICE PURRGERON ESQUIRE THE III: GREG'S PREVIEW IS UPLOADED EARLY BECAUSE HE WILL BE AT THE BACON AND BEER FEST IN BOSTON.

Man, what a game on Wednesday. The Bruins brought it for 58 minutes, the best effort they've put together in since early March. When Toronto scored early in the first period, you could feel the energy filter out of the TD Garden, but then the switch was flipped and it was on. 

It was amusing to see how bad the Leafs were. One could chalk it up to a lack of playoff inexperience by Toronto. One could chalk it up to their incredibly bad breakouts. Seriously - go back and watch that game. Toronto's breakout was Bruins April-esque bad. 

I mean - WADE FUCKING REDDEN. 

But that was Game 1, we're on to Game 2 and whatever happened in Game 1 doesn't matter. Except for the fact it's the same arena and James Reimer has to get used to the color of the seats, apparently. He should be embarrassed at even mentioning that - like when Tim Thomas complained about the lights at Madison Square Garden. 

Congrats Reimer - you're busch league. 

And then there's Phil Kessel. Can we talk about Phil Kessel for a minute? I have a big problem with Chris Gasper writing that the Boston Bruins are in the head of Phil Kessel because it's not true. You know why Phil Kessel doesn't produce against the Bruins? It's because every time he turns around, there's a Norris Trophy winning, 7'0" monster in his face. 

I mean, we can say how much Kessel sucks and all that shit, but when you get right down to it - Zdeno Chara is a fucking monster who can virtually shut down any winger he needs to, including Kessel. That's why Phil Kessel can't produce against the Bruins. Boston isn't in his head, Zdeno Chara is in his head. 

Stick to something you know Gasper, like football.

If Boston continues to take it to Toronto the way they did in Game 1, there's no way that Toronto can survive. They can't hang with the Bruins. Their captain is an oversized oaf with the brain of a pea and the chin that looks like it was left over from Mount Rushmore. Have you ever watched a player get rattled as easily as Dion Phaneuf? 

He has skin as thick as tracing paper - as the obvious slash to Tyler Seguin in Game 1 proved. You can get in his head and when you get in his head, he fucks things up. He's TERRIBLE. I hated him when he played for Calgary and I thought the Leafs made a terrible decision by trading for him and then giving him the C. 

They should give him the C U LATER but Toronto's management can't manage to order a pizza, let alone evaluate talent at a major league level. 

(Stick tap to @Camfan81)

And in case you have been living under a rock, Andrew Ference will not be playing in this game. He's been suspended because he clearly elbowed Mihkal Grabovski in the head. People are making a big deal out of this - like losing Andrew Ference for a game is going to magically destory this team. Have you watched Andrew Ference this year? He's been awful. 

Andrew Ference has been so bad, his glass groin has contemplated breaking itself just so he doesn't play. 

I guess when you have Aaron Johnson and Dougie Hamilton sitting on Level 9, losing Ference is a big deal but it's only for one game. I would like to see the Bruins call up Matt Bartkowski, but I have a feeling he's not coming up here for one game. If it were an injury or a longer suspension, there's a probably a better chance you see him here. 

Anyway, DJ Bean tweeted earlier that the defensive lines in practice look like: Chara-McQuaid, Seidenberg-Boychuk and Redden-Hamilton.

After the jump, the rest of the preview...

Is this real life we're dealing with here? James Reimer basically said he gave up Boychuk's goal because of the seats. 

Reimer wasn't happy with Boychuk shot beating him high.Says may have been fooled by a black seat in stands at eye level, but says no excuse.

— Darren Dreger (@DarrenDreger) May 2, 2013

What's next? He's going to come out and say that he lost the puck in the sea of black jerseys that litter the Garden? 

The Maple Leafs, everybody. 

We first saw Andrew Ference 3:16 during the Stanley Cup run when he had his "glove malfunction" after scoring against the Montreal Canadiens. He also failed to move out of the way when some dumbass Habs player was skating backwards and into Ference's shoulder.

Looks like Ference 3:16 is at again.

In last night's game he prepped to get hit by Mikhail Grabovski in the corner. Grabovski starts to vear off course, fearing to get phyiscal with Alternate Captain Planet. Ference wasn't expecting that and still reach out, connecting with Grabovski's head with an elbow/forearm.  He's got a phone hearing this afternoon for it.

Word out of Boston. #Bruins Ference will have an #NHL discipline hearing mid-afternoon 2day for his elbow on #Leafs Grabovski.

— Nick Kypreos (@RealKyper) May 2, 2013

Here's the video:

Clearly a hit to the head. Leafs fans instantly cried foul. Boston fans didn't even realize anything had happened. Habs fans also started whining 'cause they had nothing better to do last night. Some compared it to the Dustin Brown hit earlier this year.

No penalty on that play either. Brown got two games for that one, however.

We'll be surprised if Ference gets a game for this. It's definitely a hit to the head but not all illegal hits to the head are suspension-worthy in the eyes of Shanahan. Ference doesn't go out of his way nearly as much as Brown did and the impact wasn't nearly as violent. If anything we think Ference gets a wristslap of a fine. Plus it's the palyoffs and they tend to let things go a bit more, but we'll see.

I love how the Bruins are labeled as such a dirty team. It seems like that's a staple of every opposing fanbase to reflect how fucking awful their team is. It happens every playoff game. What no fan will say, however, is how dirty their team is. Take it away James: 

To be fair, it was probably the Leafs best hit of the night.

Clear attempt by JVR to hit Brad below the belt. It's a good thing that his swing didn't connect because he would've definitely been suspended. But hey, hitting a guy in the balls is okay. 

Fun Fact: There is now a streak of Brad Marchand getting hit in the crotch during the playoffs. (Go to 1:00 to see the "cup check")

Looking a way to celebrate last night's 4-1 win for the Bruins and satisify your sweet toothe? Well the NHL & Crumbs Bake Shop are in town to give fans some Stanley Cupcakes (get it?).

From an email we got:

The Cupcake Truck is going to be between Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market, and will be open from 12-3pm. and 5-7pm. The Cupcakes are also at the Crumbs shops at Burlington Mall, Federal Street, Natick Mall, North Shore Peabody, and the Prudential Center.

It's a beautiful day in Boston, so if you're around go get some cupcakes.

We didn't think there was an "on switch" for the playoffs. The Bruins had played an extremely lazy March/April and limped into the playoffs like Erik Karlsson limps out of Pittsburgh. 

Two minutes into the game, the Leafs score while all the Bruins simply stoodd around and watch. It was like getting punched in the stomach. They didn't flip the switch. 

Or so we thought.

For the next 58 minutes the Bruins gave us a middle finger and for one game at least showed they CAN turn it on when they want to and completely outclassed the Maple Leafs. Sweet jebus.

Like, completely. The Leafs looked like a team that really isn't playoff ready and would only make the playoffs in a short season.

Oh.

The game wasn't even as "close" as 4-1. Reimer's five hole was looser than a retired porn star's. We're pretty sure we heard Maple Leafs fans demanding that the team trade for Steve Mason so they could get an upgrade in net. 

Sure, the Leafs tried the strategy of continually putting the Bruins on the powerplay but thanks to Wade Redden not even that worked. 

Welcome to the playoffs Toronto.

Oh God it's here. It's finally here. It has arrived! 

It doesn't matter who I picked to win this series yesterday because I am usually wrong with this kind of stuff. Today is the start of a new day, a new season. Whatever happened in March or the first half of April is now meaningless. It's the mother fucking playoffs! This is everything that you look forward to if you're a hockey fan. This is when the real fun (or real misery) happens. This is where you endless dance and celebrate with friends or you wake around your house for a weekend as a mute because your friends/family are afraid to speak to you. 

This is everything. 

Yes I picked the Leafs to win the series in 6 games. Yes, I am a horrible fan. 

I think tonight the Bruins come out with a fire under their asses. I think they've woken up. I could be wrong - but what's the playoffs without a little positivity? A little enthusiasm? Maybe this was their plan all along. Maybe they saw the Senators sitting in seventh and said to themselves "no thanks, we want Toronto". 

Or maybe I'm wrong - what the fuck so I know? 

All I know is that Boston has the fantastic task of letting down about 75% of the Canadian population with a win in this series. 

Tonight the Bruins open their series with the Toronto Maple Leafs - a team that hasn't won a Stanley Cup in my 30 years on Earth. The last time they won the Cup, Lyndon B. Johnson was President and the Beatles just released Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band. I mean, think about that. Think about what that means for a second. 

Tonight the Bruins take the ice against these fools in hopes of doing what they've done to them the past few season: kick their ass. 

The Bruins wake up tonight. I'm calling it. I'll go completely Theon Turncloak on myself and say that the Bruins do it tonight. You can knock experience, but I think it means something this time of year and Boston is full of playoff experience. 

It all starts between the pipes for Boston and the Bruins have one of the best goalies in the NHL. Rask is currently in Vezina contention. He's 9th in GAA at 2.00 and 7th in SV% at .929. Those rankings may not look Vezina worthy, but take into account that NHL.com puts anyone who has played an NHL game in their database and the first three people have only played a handful of games. 

I know a lot of people are down on Rask, for some odd reason, but the last time he let in more than three goals was late March against the Montreal Canadiens. 

But we can continue to blame everything on the goalie because he let in a "soft" goal. 

If Boston is going to succeed tonight, they will need to do two things: 

1. Put good shots on net, instead of their usual game of throwing the puck at the goalie's crest

2. Play disciplined. 

They lack discipline in the worst way, especially lately. In the last 7 games, the Bruins have 23 minor penalties and 6 major penalties (all fights). Out of those 23 minor penalties, the opponents has scored 5 power play goals - or converted 21% of the time, which means Boston has only killed 79% of those penalties. 

Not good.

However I don't think it plays a factor tonight. I think you see a full 60 minute effort from this team, finally. With the lines back to somewhat normal (and we'll touch on that in a minute), it's go time. It's time for the war face. 

After the jump the rest of the preview...

Leafs Projected Lines

Versus Blowjobs - Who? - One Nut Pizza Face
King Joffrey - Gabbo The Puppet - Some name I can't pronounce
Clahk Macahtah - Gets Injured In Practice - Scrub 1
Can't Skate - Scrub 2 - Scrub 3

Sloppy Seconds - Fun Guns
Who? - John-Michael Turnovers
Pylon - Plus/Minus Machine

Horseshoe Up Ass
Worst Last Name Ever

Bruins Projected Lines

Brad Marchand - Patrice Bergeron - Tyler Seguin
Milan Lucic - David Krejci - Nathan Horton
Kaspars Daugavins - Chris Kelly - Jaromir Jagr
Dan Paille - Greg Campbell - Shawn Thornton

Zdeno Chara - Dennis Seidenberg
Johnny Boychuk - Wade Redden
Adam McQuaid - Andrew Ference

Tuukka Rask
Anton Khudobin

NHL Playoffs: 

Eastern Conference
Pittsburgh Penguins vs New York Islanders: 0-0
Montreal Canadiens vs Ottawa Senators: 0-0
Washington Capitals vs New York Rangers: 0-0

Western Conference
Chicago Blackhawks vs Minnesota Wild: CHI Leads 1-0
Anaheim Ducks vs Detroit Red Wings: ANA Leads 1-0 
Vancouver Canucks vs San Jose Sharks: 0-0
St. Louis Blues vs Los Angeles Kings: STL Leads 1-0

Game Day Video

PREVIEW BONUS! 

THE LEAFS SUCK!

CHRIS BOURQUE SCORED ON YOU TORONTO

ALSO FUCK THIS GUY:

Earlier we looked at the Western Conference first round match-ups. Now we're bringing the beloved (and better) Eastern Conference all up in your face. Here we go: 

(1) Pittsburgh Penguins vs (8) New York Islanders

Poor, poor New York Islanders. It's the first time they've made the playoffs since 2007, where they lost to Buffalo in 5 games in the first round. Now, 6 years later, they get to play one of the best NHL rosters put together, potentially in the history of the NHL. Yeah, that's a pretty big statement but you're looking at a roster with Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Jarome Iginla (sadface) and Brenden Morrow - and that list only contains three players who started the season with a C on their jersey. 

Pittsburgh is a disgusting team. They finished the year first in the NHL in goals per game, scoring 3.38 goals per game. They also finished the year second in the NHL on the power play, converting 24.7% of all of their power plays. They are an offensive machine. Look at their goal scorers: 

Chris Kunitz: 22
James Neal: 21 (in 40 games)
Pascal Dupuis: 20
Sidney Crosby: 15 (in 36 games; and has 41 assists)
Jarome Iginla: 14

And yet they don't have a large amount of guys who have played 48 games. The team was littered with injuries and still dominated the Eastern Conference in the second half of the season. When Evgeni Malkin has 9 goals, but the team led the NHL with 162 goals scored this season - it's a telling sign about depth. 

Ah, depth. It's a funny thing how things shake out at the end of the season. Heading into the end of March, depth was an issue with Pittsburgh. Suddenly, Ray Shero does Ray Shero things and brings in Jarome Iginla, Brenden Morrow, Douglas Murray and Jussi Jokinen and depth is no longer a problem. 

I guess you can make a case for the Penguins defense being an issue, but even then they're 12th in the NHL is GA/G (2.48) and have missed their best shutdown defenseman in Paul Martin for most of the season. 

If you want to search for a problem, you could look at Marc-Andrew Fleury, who posted a 2.39 GAA and a SV% of .916 - but even then you're talking about respectable stats. If he had Tuukka Rask like stats, this team may not have lost a game all season (kidding, maybe). 

Oh yeah, there's also the Islanders in this match-up, but not for long. 

Prediction: Penguins in 4

After the jump...the rest of the Eastern Conference...

Man, I can't believe it's finally here. This is, literally, the greatest time of the year. If you're a hockey fan, this is your Christmas. With the hours ticking away before the first slate of games are to be played tonight, we wanted to give everyone a look at both the Eastern and Western opening rounds. Tonight, Chicago/Minnesota, St. Louis/Los Angeles and Detroit/Anaheim will open their series against one another. Before the puck drops, lets look at the Western Conference: 

(1) Chicago Blackhawks vs (8) Minnesota Wild

The Minnesota Wild have the displeasure of playing the best team in the NHL. You read that right, the best team in the NHL. The Blackhawks are probably the most balanced team heading into the playoffs in all phases of the game. Offensively they rank second in the NHL, scoring 3.10 goals per game. Their defense is ranked first in the NHL, giving up 2.02 goals per game. It's disgusting how good this team is. 

The Blackhawks specialty teams? 19th in the NHL on the power play at 16.7% success. The penalty kill? Third in the NHL with 87.2% success at killing penalties. I'm shocked, actually, at how bad they are on the power play given their talent. 

Goaltending? Not an issue. Corey Crawford and Ray Emery have matching GAA at 1.94 (seriously). That makes them number six and seven overall in the NHL in that category. Crawford is 10th overall in save percentage among all goalies with a .926 clip. 

With all this going on, you have to ask yourself if Minnesota has a chance? 

Well, not really. I mean there's a chance that Minnesota wins a game or two at home, but I don't think they are good enough to steal a game in Chicago. Their road record is 12-11-1. The good news is that the Wild are top ten in scoring goals on the road in the NHL with 66 of them, but they also have given up 70. 

Here's the thing with Minnesota - They are in the bottom half of the league (22) in goals per game with 2.46 and goals against per game (16) with 2.60. While they are good enough to squeak into the playoffs thanks to a Columbus loss on the last day of the regular season, I don't think they have the firepower to hang with Chicago. 

Chicago is good, like Stanley Cup Finals good. Anything else for this team is a failure. 

Predication: Chicago in 5. 

After the jump...the rest of the West!